Death of Santa Claus

Quote from my morning readings:

A nonbeliever doesn't think twice when we praise God for giving us Bentley's but they do think twice when we get evicted from our homes and still praise God. 

This took me back to the mid-80's - some very troubled years in the life of Gary Burd and his family. Preceding years we had a life of abundance, money flowed through the construction company. Anything we desired we bought. Throwing life of abundance to the wind and enjoying the fun of moment.

Then we came across this 'gospel' that endorsed our careless living that sold Jesus as a Santa Claus. He 'wanted' us to have it all, He did not want us to suffer, He died that we might be rich! I don't need to go any further defining this lie from hell.

Then came the crisis, it did not matter how much we gave financial seeds, how much we confessed, how 'clean' we made our lives, it was all leaving us. We lost everything, the ranch (only 200 acres), the house, the horses, the boat, the cars, the 'you name it'. We lost our 'integrity', our pride, our self-elevated successful lifestyle.

At the same time we were moved into the position of Sr. Pastor at a wonderful church, Christian Heritage in Amarillo, TX. Wow, this brought a new level of pain in our lives. How can we lead these people? How will the community accept us?

We had three children at home, the needs of one entering his teens and desiring to help them fit in at the school they attended. It was a school attended mostly by kids from successful homes. We had tried our best to keep up but now, there was no way. (Let's be honest here, our son received the award for best dressed that year and we were purchasing his clothes on 70% off sale racks and garage sales, hmmm).

We were embarrassed to face the society!

We were embarrassed to face the religious folks! (I attended meetings where you were to do a credit check before giving people ministerial license, can you imagine the pain?)

However, God seen us through this difficult time. This was our life:

1. We adjusted our standard of living.

2. We whined in secret

• I remember laying in a bed of cold sweat because of the pain of meetings where they would talk of not trusting someone who couldn't pay his bills. The fire of the meetings would make me cry and whine before the Lord. 
• As we seen it, we never whined in front of people or in the pulpit. 

3. As ole Santa Claus God was dying his slow death, we worked through blaming God. 

• I would like to say we just let the idea, 'God I have given faith seed, I have fasted, I have prayed, I have confessed, now you owe me the relief from this situation', died slow or at least slower than I would like to admit. 
• We are so engrained in this American gospel that God sent His son that we might be rich that it takes a long time to get it out of us. 

4. We began to pursue God, not His gifts in this world. 

5. Our journey included praising in the midnight hours when all lone with our pain. 

• I remember one night, everyone in the house was asleep. There was no sleep for me, so I sat in the living room, full of questions, doubts and yet, pursuit of the God I loved so much. There in the darkness I heard Him say to me, 'get up and dance before me'. Wow, praise at a huge level in this dark, lonely, painful night! I can't dance for one thing, no rhythm in my feet. I began to kinda jump and say, "I love you in all of this. I want you more than anything'. As I 'praised' Him, the joy began to drive the darkness out of my heart. The lesson was well learned. 

The Lord heard my cry, He lifted me! The real God showed up in my life. 

• There has been an intimacy with Him beyond my wildest expectations. 

• There has been freedom to go to Him in my weakness and failures and still know He is there and loves me, even when my performance is less that it should be. 

• I have been invited to be His friend, John 15. 

• There is a deeper level of love and intimacy with my wife, for this love manifest itself in family. 

• The boldness to face religion for others has been shocking to me at times. 

• This past summer a spirit of 'fearlessness' began to be developed in my life. 

Oh, by the way, one of our partners in ministry made sure we had a place to live after we stepped down as Sr. Pastor. Craig Lawlis drafted a plan for several of us to receive our home after we served so many years in the church. Carolyn and I have our home, not begging the church to allow us to live in it. Our home, fully paid for and totally enjoyed in these last years of our life. 

Mother Teresa v William Wallace

I read reacently, which Jesus would people think you are, a humble and compassionate Mother Teresa or a warrior with passion and commitment to bring a revolution? Something to contemplate in the days we are living in. Which Jesus does our world need? Our churches need? Before we find a resolve, let us define the two different sides of who our Lord was.

A heart of Christ revealed in Mother Teresa:

History has the rich fulness of a lady that loved the poor to the point that she gave her life for the 'salvation' of many. She submitted to a religious system, politics within that religious system that hindered her mission in life. She was submitted to such scorn from not only the world but the very system to which she submitted to.

There was a side of Jesus that also submitted to a system that had so much politics in it that it eventtually took His life. Can you see Him entering the Temple, the place of worship knowing the leaders in place were going to try and trick Him in a question, try to disprove all of His works, condemn the good He would do and accuse Him of being endowed with power from the eternal enemy, satan. Have you mentally entered the court room where the leaders do not have the guts to stand up against the evil, politically driven religious world? Could you keep your mouth shut? Would your answers be calm and short?

A heart of Christ revealed in William Wallace:

Can you watch "Braveheart" without admiring a man who suffered ridicule, betrayal, physical pain, loneliness, and eventual death for something he believed his country needed. Can you hear him yell, 'FREEDOM' just seconds before they removed his head.

Do you see that side of Jesus? Can you see Him standing in the Temple, braiding and assembling the whip knowing what He was about to do would cause an upheaval of a system set in place originally by our Father in Heaven (of which He particpated in)? Can you feel the shock of the people who had watched Him take the little ones in His lap as the disciples had tried to usher them out of the way tip the tables over? Can you see the confusement? What happened to the one who was teaching to turn the other cheek in there with a whip? What happened to this loving individual that would cause Him to elevate His voice and began to turn tables over and whip the merchants out of the market place given to them?

As we face people around the world that are removing Christians heads, what role will we take? Some of us have discussed it, 'do we stand there and turn the other cheek and let them remove our head or do we go down swinging'? Our Jewish friends have told us that they are not like the Jewish people that 'humbly' went into the cattle cars to the concentration camps. As Evangelical Christians, should we humble ourselves or should we put the resolve to learn from our Jewish brothers and at least attack our enemy where they would have to take our heads with some resistence.

As this question griped my thoughts, after a few moments of introspection that revealed my truest desire of life. I concluded, as the uncertainities of life come, may the Holy Spirit be more active in my life than ever before. Our Lord told us not to fear when we were brought before the evil courts of this world because the Holy Spirit would give us the words to speak. It would be a natural conclusion that He would also give us the correct actions. Holy Spirit, it is my desire to spend enough time listening to your direction that you can speak through those crisis moments in my life to give me direction. If I am to humbly submit to a system for the greater good, give me the grace to keep my mouth shut, stand down when told to and be a gentle lover of your wounded and broken people, let it be. However, if in another situation the call is to stand and fight, resist any hindering words or actions, to charge in the face of seemingly certain defeat and to lay my life down swinging for the cause, give me the resolve to lay it all down. Let me never be so locked in during these times of uncertainty to one action or the other that I miss the greater call of the Commander and Chief of the Eternal Kingdom that I serve.